


Cracks in the pavement

by goblin



Category: Askewniverse, Mallrats (1995)
Genre: Biphobia, Bisexuality, Denial, Dialogue-Only, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-26
Updated: 2002-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblin/pseuds/goblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after "Mallrats", Brodie and T.S. catch up. Their conversation takes an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracks in the pavement

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: T.S., Brodie, René, Brandi, Allan Harris, and Heather Jones are owned by Kevin Smith, Miramax and View Askew. Jimmy Olsen is owned by DC Comics. T.S.'s views on bisexuality are owned by me (circa 2002).  
> THANKS: to gracelessone, my beta, for making me really think Brodie's homophobia through. Also for that Jimmy Olsen idea.  
> NOTES: I believe this was the first T.S/Brodie ever to appear online, and remains one of very, very few.

(an astonished Brodie) "T.S.? T.S. Quint?"

"Brodie Bruce. Hey. It's been awhile."

"Understatement of the year, it's been several Ice Ages since I last saw you! And here you are, showing up at my house!"

(smiling) "Thought it was about time I made an effort."

(delighted) "Don't just stand there at the door, moron, come in. How are you?"

(coming inside) "Good, how're you?"

"Everything's fine and dandy with me, my friend."

(sitting on the couch) "So you're over being kicked off 'The Tonight Show'?"

(sitting next to him) " _Way_ over. I've got new plans, T.S. - plans to open up my own comic store."

(impressed) "Wow." (casually) "So, are you still with René?"

(regretfully) "No. We broke up a week after we got back together."

(commiserating) "And stayed apart this time?"

(sadly) "Yeah. I mean, we were so sure, and then..." (shrugs) "How about you and Brandi?"

"We got divorced."

"How long after?"

"Nearly two years."

"Shit. Had a few girlfriends since then?"

"Not really."  
(pauses)  
(takes deep breath) "I did have a boyfriend though."

(disbelieving) "Get out!"

(wryly) "No, it's true."

"What, the experience of being married to Brandi was so horrible it turned you gay??"

(offended) "No! Brodie, I've always - I mean, I'd been with guys before I married Brandi."

"When you were friends with me? You were fucking guys when you were friends with me??"

"What do you care, it's not like I was doing it in front of you."

"Thank God." (starts pacing) "I don't believe this. I always thought you were some kind of sweet kid who didn't get girls much, like Jimmy Olsen, when really you were having it off with guys behind my fucking back! Oh my God, was Jimmy Olsen gay??"

"Brodie, it was one guy."

(sits back down, cautiously) "You slept with... only _one_ guy."

"Not even that."

"So you didn't actually fuck."

"I made out with him for five minutes, then freaked out completely and told him to pretend nothing had ever happened."

(full of wonder) "Holy shit." (suddenly curious) "Who was it?"

"Like I'm gonna - "

(firmly) "T.S. - who, when, where. Go."

(sighs) "Allan Harris, junior year, at Heather Jones' party."

"Chess team Allan Harris?! I don't _believe_ this!"

"Brodie, it isn't that bizarre - "

"What do you _mean_ 'it's not that bizarre'? It _is_ bizarre! It's _completely_ bizarre! No one makes out with people of their own gender when they're seventeen, it's unheard of!"

"No, Brodie, actually it's not - "

"And besides, this is _you_ we're talking about here. T.S. Quint, you, _my_ former best friend."

"You really are genuinely shocked about this."

"Yes I am shocked! Of _course_ I am shocked, why would I _not_ be shocked?"

(as if talking to someone very stupid) "Because it's completely normal, maybe?"

"It's not _normal_. It's not normal, T.S., because it's not the _norm_. The majority of people are straight. How many are gay, like, five percent?"

"Ten. Approximately."

"Okay, ten. That still makes gay people a clear minority. Therefore, it is not the norm. Therefore, it is not normal."

"Okay, granted it's not usual. But that doesn't mean it's not normal."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't. Unusual and abnormal are not the same thing."

"Yes they are. If it's not usual or normal, it's unusual or abnormal. T.S., they're practically synonyms."

"Look, this is irrelevant anyway. I'm not gay."

"Oh, really? What would Allan Harris and this more recent boyfriend have to say about that? Who _is_ this mysterious boyfriend, anyway?"

(annoyed) "Brodie. There is such a thing as bisexuality."

(with aggression) "Who was this guy you were going out with post-Brandi? Do I know him?"

(with equal aggression) "No."

"Well who is he?"

"It doesn't matter, you don't know him. We're broken up now anyway."

"How long were you together?"

"Three months."

"Jesus. That's... a long time."

"Not really."

"Whatever."

"So, have _you_ had any girlfriends since René?"

(sullenly) "No."

"Any boyfriends?"

"No." (glares) "Asshole."

(angry yet confused) "Why am I the asshole?"

(erupting) "Because the reason I haven't been with anyone since René is I've been mooning over YOU, thinking I could never even hope, never even dream, never even dare to hope to dream that I could be with you because I thought that you were straight for sure because being _un_ straight is so fucking abnormal or unusual or whatever you want to call it! And you were making out with Allan fucking Harris in JUNIOR YEAR while I sat at home and worked on my repression, and I could've asked you out TEN YEARS ago, my _God_ , I _hate_ you, how could you _do_ this to me? You fucking asshole."

(a pause, as all this sinks in)  
(astonished, becoming gradually outraged) "Oh my God. You just spent this entire conversation giving me shit for not being straight, and you've had a _thing_ for me since way back?"

"Yeah, a _thing_ , that's what I've had, it's a _thing_ , some kind of nameless object that no one wants to look at or deal with."

"You obviously _haven't_ been dealing with it at all."

"Why would I want to? Tell me that, T.S."

(challenging) "Ask me out."

(warning) "Stop fucking with me, T.S. - "

"I'm not fucking with you, I'm serious. You want to. So just ask me out."

"No!"

(incredulously) "You have a thing for me, but you won't ask me to date you?"

"You'll say no, asshole. You're fucking with me."

"I'm not fucking with you. Ask me out."

"Fuck you!"

(tries a different tack) "Brodie. Will you go out with me?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"I don't trust you."

"You don't _trust_ me? I was your best friend for twelve years!"

"And everything I knew about you was a lie."

"You are _so_ overreacting!"

"Fuck you."

"And what was all that shit about gayness being abnormal?"

"It is!"

"Oh, so you're abnormal, are you?"

"Completely. NO! I'm _not gay_."

"But neither are you straight."

(ranting) "That's right, I'm neither the one nor the other. Not normal, not abnormal. Not sane, not insane. Not gay, not straight. I'm the fucking cracks in the pavement, T.S., I'm the space between tracks on a CD, I don't belong with anyone or anything in any place in any time - I'm _useless_."

(softly) "That's not what you are, Brodie. And that's not what I am either."

(angrily) "What are we then, T.S.?"

"People. Who are attracted to other people."

"That's it?? That's your big justification? Well, excuse me if - "

"It's _simple_ , Brodie. It doesn't have to be complicated, or twisted, or bizarre, or, or anything. You don't _have_ to pay any attention to all those stupid clichés about bisexuals being promiscuous or kinky or liable to leave you for someone of the gender that you're not. It's just... one person being attracted to another person." (looks down) "Like... me being attracted to you."

(shaking) " _Liar_."

(moves in closer) "Brodie."

(moves back) "Fuck. You."

"Brodie." (darts in and plants a brief but insistent kiss on Brodie's lips)

"Hey - !" (shoves T.S. away)

(looks Brodie in the eye)

(very quietly) "Fuck you."   
(closes eyes)  
(gives up)  
(puts his arms around T.S.)  
(forces back tears)

(pulls Brodie close) "Shh..."

(even more quietly) "Fuck you."

(soothingly) "Shhh."

(whispers) "Fuck you."

"Shhhhh."

 

~end~


End file.
